Notes from a Plane

• Waiting to see if someone is going to sit next to you or you will be granted two seats for a 13 hour flight are some of the most nerve racking moments of your life.
  

• Must be easy for Charlie Sheen to play a womanizing douche bag in real life and on TV.

• I could get used to having two seats to myself, but I don't think I could get used to the "You're mother didn't raise you right" glares from the old women on the flight

• Declaring that I have come in contact with animals (Donkeys, Dogs, Water Buffalo, Goats, Sheep and Chickens) may have been a poor choice.

• "Fuck you buddy" were the first words I heard when boarding the plane. Must be a New York bound flight. Oh wait it was.
  

• I am far too tall to lie across two seats.

• Is there ever a plane flight that allows smoking? Or is this just the airlines way of driving smokers crazy for 13 hours at a time?

• One of the many downsides of sharing a flight with old people; they turn their headphones into speakers.

• No I don't want to watch Taylor Swift videos I want the fucking live map god damn it!