Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Notes From a Bar

Yesterday I decided to go to a bar and drink for a couple hours while studying and doing some reading. One problem, yesterday was Saint Patrick's Day and I did not factor that into my plan. So here are the notes I took while sitting there drinking delicious Ballantine from a tall can.

  • Who goes to a bar on Saint Patrick's Day and drinks water? Yes I havea problem with how commercial Saint Patricks day is in general but if you are going to celebrate the day by dressing like a Shamrock and going to a bar the least you can do is drink something with alcohol in it.
  • That's right, that ID reads Kevin Patrick Doyle and no I am not wearing any green (Though I think the funny look was for the passport I handed her in lieu of my missing Drivers Liscense).
  • I am morally opposed to large packs of girls. They are loud, drunk, too well prepared, they cackle and have a weird sense of empowerment in group's larger than 4.
  • Why is it that Americans need special days as an excuse to drink and act like children? IF you like to drink and act like an idio then do it, don't hijack an Irish holiday to suit your unfortunate problems. I mean look at me I'm alone, at a bar drinking and complaining about life and I didn't even realize it was a designated drinking day until I got here.
  • Is there a more appropriate bar to sit at and drink cheap quality beer while reading a book and complaining about life than a bar modeled after Charles Bukowski?
  • Isn't today a work day? How are all these people drinking at 3 in the afternoon? I makes you wonder how Americans espouse the 40 hour work week and how many actually work 40 hours a week? WIth all the cutting out early on fridays, "business lunches", holidays (state approved and not), office parties, sick days, "sick days", and vacation days I wouldn't be surprised if less than half the people who claim to work 40 hours a week actually do.
  • It always surprises me how girls take days like Halloween, Saint Patrick's Day, etc. to dress inappropriately and then wonder why men treat them like nothing more than something to stare at.
  • "Potato Day" I just heard a toast with those words, I think there is more to Ireland than Potatoes. I bet the Irish government would like you to think otherwise.
  • I wish my life required me to wear a suit everyday, downside would be I would become a selfish prick.
  • Bukowski isn't even fucking Irish, he's German you fools! Get the hell out!
  • I should start introducing myself as a writer; simple, and hard to disprove. Again downside would be that I would become a selfish prick.
  • Dear Ballantine Executive: The only reason I drink your beer is because my parents let me decipher the riddles you guys put on your bottle caps when I was a child. If your intent with those riddles was to hook children at a young age then you succeeded.
  • I hope Saint Patrick realizes that he is one hell of an enabler.
  • OMG! (Yes I just did that, digest it and move on) Indiana Jones is here! Background: As you know I work at Borders (no way!), anyway one of our all to frequent customers is a guy who dresses like Indie; every single day of his life. By dresses like I mean hat, jacket, beard, pants, shoes and the archaelogist bag. Well that man is sitting 10 feet away from me.
  • One problem with the murals of Bukowski there are not enough Women on them.
  • The difference between a pack of girs at a bar and a pack of guys at a bar is with guys all that was discussed was the time and place but with girls it was the time, place, back up place, who to invite, who not to invite, how many drinks to have, how many waters to have, how do we get there, what to wear and is it a girls night or can we try and incorporate a guy or two.
  • We have moved from generic Irish musice to the album "London Calling" by The Clash. I knew I liked this bar.
  • My waitress doesn't know how to deal with my sitting here drinking alone. I get the sense that she wants to ask me if I'm all right or if I have a drinking problem.
  • Not eating all day and then going out for beer and greasy food was a poor choice (And I'm sorry for the all too well known Anchorman line that entered you brain just now, it wasn't my intention).
  • Drinking before work was also a poor choice (again sorry), if I'm not slightly boozey by the time I get there then I will be incredibly tired.
  • I need to join a drinking club.
  • Why don't Women rul the world? Seriously they are better at everything that matters in life. How have they not developed cloning, turned into lesbians and eliminated the male race. Wait, I didn't say any of that.
  • Nevermind I did say that because I see what the problem is all women are attracted to assholes and without men they would be lost in trying to find someone who they love that just continually breaks them down emotionally. That's what us men are here for.
  • I am not the only person in here drinking while at the same time trying to study. There I feel better.


  1. I too believe there is more to Ireland than potatoes, but some how I still got called an Irish potato whore while abroad. ;)

  2. Daniel can be blamed for that, not I.

  3. You spend the first half of the stating why girls are silly in packs of four of more, giving examples and all, and then you go on to say that they should rule the world? I think you may have some contradictory thoughts here.

    Other downside to wearing a suit everyday: You would have a job which required a suit a every day. This would probably take a lot of time and possible business dinners. Of you could work at a cell phone company. They seem to always dress inappropriately well.

  4. "Why don't Women rul the world? Seriously they are better at everything that matters in life. How have they not developed cloning, turned into lesbians and eliminated the male race. Wait, I didn't say any of that."

    --- Who says dating assholes and doing irrational things aren't just a cover for world domination...oh I've said too much.

  5. Oh and people asked me why I wasn't wearing green the other day.

    I told them my name was Lucy Fitzgerald Bullock. They then felt bad about themselves.

  6. Actually Daniel's innocent on that count too. It was some other fellow.

  7. Yeah, wasn't me who called her that.