Law & Order Ripped From The Headlines

Well this isn't possible for one because Jerry Orbach is dead and secondly because Law & Order was cancelled, but what follows is my rendition of the opening scene to an episode that would have occurred based on recent events.

Open to a shot of a maid being consoled by a coworker while the manager dials 911.
911 Operator: 911 may I have the nature of your emergency?
Manager: I would like to report a rape.

Cut to Jerry Orbach, Cop sidekick and Port Authority officers approaching the front desk of a distinctly French airline.

Jerry Orbach while holding up a warrant: Ma'am, sorry for the inconvenience but we are going to have to take a look at your plane, it will only take a second.

Cut to Jerry Orbach and sidekick boarding plane, flight attendant points to a worried looking Frenchman in the third row.

Orbach and sidekick stride towards him, Orbach lifts him up and shoves him over a seat to cuff him. Frenchman starts yelling and cursing in French. Sidekick reads him his rights.

Orbach as he walks the Frenchman down the aisle: Pardon his French.

End Scene, Cue Credits

Cable News

Now I don't like cable news, we'll get to why in a moment but on days when I lose hope in the American Public's ability to make the correct choice (in my oh-so humble opinion) I find myself watching election night coverage on MSNBC. I know when I tune in I will not be getting impartial observers commenting academically on what the day's events mean for America. No, I'm getting exactly what I came for, no holds barred, unequivical conservative hating, tea-bagger bashing commentary.

Let's face it, like a sad fat guy needs ice cream and a depressed alcoholic needs a stiff drink, I need Rachel Maddow frothing at the mouth, Chris Matthews berating Michelle Bachman like an old man does a kid on his lawn & Keith Olberman telling me it's going to be ok because eventually America will realize John Boehner spends more time crying in a tanning booth than he does legislating.

That is what got me through the worst Democrat beatdown in my lifetime.

Am I proud of it? No. Am I ashamed? No, not really.

Why? Because I know they are entertaining me. I know this is opinion. I know facts are missing and more than likely will never materialize. It's along the same lines as finding yourself enjoying Enrique Iglesias sing "Tonight" but realizing at the same time that he is no Bob Dylan or John Lennon. But you know there is someone out there who would argue against that, or that Lady Gaga is the best female singer of her generation. Why? Who knows, but they believe it and you know it to be ridiculous.

To bring this around full circle, people think commentators like Keith Olberman & Glenn Beck are the modern day equivalent's of Walter Cronkite & Edward R Murrow by bringing sanity and reality to a very insane world. While the truth is Glenn Beck is closer to Joe McCarthy than Edward R Murrow and Mr. Olberman is simply the rabid propagandist of liberal Democrats and not the even handed and widely respected Walter Cronkite.

To be fair both men are admittedly over the top, strong personalities who espouse factually lacking soundbites in order to attract specific viewers. Are they journalists? Not even close, but tying them into the day to day journalistic workings of a news network is a no brainer, its just how TV works.

The problem with this is that it is deceiving and misleading to the viewers. Fact based reporting followed by factless opinion with no delineation other than a commercial or two is criminal. It leads to people regurgitating sound bites as if they were peer reviewed reports. It's harmful to true debate and contributes to the escalation of pigheadedness found on both sides of the spectrum.

But yet we (the viewers) continue to flock to cable news shows simply to have our radical opinion certified as "truth" by a pseudo news organizations bombastic opinion personality. A "truth" that is devoid of reality and fact.

And we are all the happier because of it.

On TV

I'm a sucker for a good story line. That's why I read the final Harry Potter book from the moment I got it at 1 PM to 8 AM the next morning, that's why I go on This American Life binges, and that's why it took me a matter of weeks to watch every episode of The Wire. I can't help it, good books, good television, good radio, and even movies are all the same to me; they are stories.

It's funny how adult's always tell you that books are superior to television, and that the path to success, and therefore enjoyment, is paved with books. Of course there may be some truth to that, hours upon hours of watching reruns of Friends and Frasier may do little more than occupy your time, but the same can be said for trashy Romance novels and endless loops of Top 40 hits.

Everything is good in moderation, and everything has it's good and it's bad. But something that grasps your attention, makes you experience emotions beyond a simple chuckle, makes you understand yourself and others around you a little better, no matter what medium it travels, is worth the time.

Don't blame me, blame Battlestar Galactica.