Friday, May 1, 2009

A Double Serving of Little Grumblings 4/17 - 4/30

I neglected to post last weeks Little Grumblings do to the inability to cut and paste on an IPod touch and Bolt-Bus's 56k modem. To make it up to you I have prepared a double serving for this week on the heals of two book posts. Tomorrow should involve some solar panels and a tank while Sunday is still a mystery of sorts. Until then enjoy some regurgitated Tweets!

And as always the ones that are not witty I did not write.
  • The pirate bay founders will be 4 of 5000 prisoners in the Swedish penal system, a system thats sees 69 escapes a year. I like their chances. (Most of these escapes involve inmates walking right out the unlocked gate)
  • Swedish Prison Accommodations: Bed, Table, Chair, Bathroom and Bookcase per inmate. That sounds better than my freshman dorm room.
  • The policy of hating tests is reported to still be in effect in the life of one Kevin Doyle.
  • Today is not a total loss, Free Toothpaste! (To be specific it was Tom's of Maine toothpaste, the same toothpaste that I made my mother buy until I was 12 because I refused to use any other kind. Not as good as my lunch day in and day out in Elementary School: American Cheese between wheat bread)
  • I am currently downloading the film Slapshot. Why? Because not doing so is a crime against humanity. NEXT QUESTION! (Paul Newman, the guy who makes Newman's Own products is the star of this movie, it is also the best hockey movie ever made for that I had to show it to Katy. That being said she fell asleep 30 minutes in.)
  • In other news Kevin enjoys beer. Yes he does indeed. (In this sense it was High Life, sorry it's reasonably priced)
  • My stomach sees pasta and promptly triples in size in anticipation.
  • I have come to the conclusion that my anti-establishment music of choice is Punk-Rock and it's many disobedient children. Sorry hippies. (In particular The Clash and The Ramones)
  • There are 100 runners in the alley way behind my apartment eating and drinking and singing about free beer. WTF? (To be specific it is called Hashing and this hash was centered around everyone dressing in dominatrix apparel. They literally run for beer once to twice a week, ages vary from 21 to 80 and I don't even know if their drinking in the alley behind my apartment is considered legal.)
  • I will take whatever new Jens I can get at this point. (Still awaiting Jens' tour dates in Boston. I would ask him but if you email him he requires you to follow the months email topic. This month it is Breaking away, the feeling, not the movie, last month it was World War II and the month before that it was Sports.)
  • + TV feed = Amazing
  • You know whats nice. Sitting on your well lit patio with a beer at night. Yes you should be jealous.
  • Free NHL radio feeds are also nice.
  • Hockey fights narrated via radio lead to very entertaining word choices "Has his helmet removed from his cranium!" (We need to save the sport of boxing so we can hear radio fights on a regular basis)
  • Apparently the voice of WBCN in Boston does work in NJ as well. Weird.
  • A very well written account of what thousands of young American men go through each day in Afghanistan. (C. J. Chivers is my new favorite journalist, every single report he has filed from Afghanistan I have enjoyed immensly. He has a way of properly narrating each episode he is involved in while at the same time making it seem like he is writing on the behalf of those he is imbedded with. Amazing work.)
  • Some people make running 26.2 miles look easy.
  • Kevin Barnes is not straight, there, I said it. (I would like to submit this photo as evidence to the jury)
Photo by Katy Kobzeff
  • I mean why did he have to change from a purple top to the exact same top in turquoise? The purple was so slimming.......
  • The Franks Red Hot reserves have reached an all time low. A purchase of epic proportions is required.
  • has come to the conclusion that the human race has an obsession with bass infused music. (Why is it that every show I go to the bass seems to be exponentially higher than it is on the actual album? I enjoyed Of Montreal live without question but I would have liked it that much more if I could understand what he was singing)
  • Mass Ave traffic lights are out to get me. (Five lights in a row were red after I bolted off the previous line like a drag racer)
  • OK Portz man, all your final are belong to us. That is of course if you don't mind.
  • Is it me or are all killers considered to be "nice, well mannered people" up until they get caught?
  • Crisping tortillas in the oven = bad idea (The result was two charred Tortillas, an apartment full of smoke, a really annoying smoke detector and one frightened kitten)
  • 1. Cheez-its 2. Coke 3. Frank's Red Hot 4. Now and Laters
  • Now and Laters make the list primarily because I have eaten half a box in the last 5 minutes.
  • Fashionista stays.
  • RT @darthvader: Just be glad I don't celebrate Earth Day the way I celebrated Alderaan Day.
  • In addition to "fashionista" "have their cake and eat it too" has been added to my paper. Portz better enjoy it.
  • Fact: Kevin enjoys editing papers by hand. Therefore assigning a paper while his printer is out of black ink is the best way to torture him. (and no printing it in purple would not suffice)
  • Hey IMF how about instead of calling it a severe recession why not just call it a depression? Oh yeah I forgot that would mean something.
  • Also included in said paper is a direct quote from the illustrious dubya Bush: "Heckuva job"
  • I am taking many liberties with the English language for this paper. "Kennedyesque"
  • Really it had to be a 9 Volt battery? I'll just head down to my bombshelter and borrow one from my Cold War era flash light. (The result of not having an extra 9 Volt lying around was a glass shelve held up by loose screws. I am now waiting for the day when I am washing the dishes and the shelve slicing my veins open.)
  • Only masochists enjoy watching the trap defense. Ironically those same people live in New Jersey. (My best tweet ever and no one understands it)
  • I fail to see the benefits of a standard screw over a phillips head other than the formers ability to send a drill into the palm of my hand.
  • I whole heartedly agree.
  • And all my drivers do is stare at me blankly
  • I am currently boiling water to shave my face because I used all of the buildings hot water during my 45 min shower. 41 minutes next time.
  • Me: I'm an idiot Katy: yeah an idiot with his pants on backwards
  • Born Ruffians are not Saves The Day. They are a HAPPY band. UNDERSTAND? (Case closed)
  • Aparently you are not allowed to use Hotplates on Boltbus. How am I supposed to cook my Ramon? (No joke my driver insisted that no one plug in their hot plate for fear that we may repeat an episode from the week prior where a woman was burned)
  • This whole Internet on a bus thing would be alot cooler if some asshole didn't forget to exit Kazaa before boarding. (The whole internet on a bus thing is really cool until you are sharing a bus wuth 25 other laptops = 56k)
  • Yes honking makes traffic magically disapear. Silly New Yorkers, the correct answer is landmines. (Or a $350 fine which I am told has truely helped)
  • NYC, society's traffic equivalent of the last 5 minutes of a Basketball game.
  • Most people pity the anorexic, not the woman in front of me, she has lunch with them just so she can torture them by eating a pizza. (The woman in front of me on the bus was brutal, she spent 25 minutes gossiping about one of her friends who suffers from anorexia and thinking of ways to torture her)
  • Her idea of an intervention: How's work going? And your anorexia?
  • New York stock brokers may have ruined the economy but they make up for it by paying for my drinks. (Katy and I had an hour to kill around Time Square so we decided to get a drink or two at this Saloon, next thing I know this stock trader is buying me drinks, I'm lecturing the bartender on how Blue Moon is from Colorado and not Belgium, and I half a full out conversation with an Englishman about soccer and hockey.)
  • Katy and I just decided we could move to NYC for Saturday morning people watching at Central Park alone. Probably not a good reason.
  • Crossed paths with Menna again today. He is so not a New Yorker. (Seeing Mr. Menna at the MET was very cool and then realizing that Katy's work could replace the old drawings on the wall was more than I could handle.)
  • Apparently the florescent light I hung last week can be considered modern art.
  • A spicy hotdog does not qualify as a sausage. Nice try though.
  • I am bringing Diners back to Boston. I don't know how yet, but I'm going to try and shove one or two in my duffle bag. (Boston has one diner that I know of, I want more)
  • I would wear a shirt w/a bike on it the day 50 armed salesmen are peddling their bikes for rent. Best part? Took 10 guys to realize my shirt. (Funny thing is this happened to me once before except I was wearing a Facebook Tshirt and I was asked by a random kid in JP "Hey do you have Facebook?" I replied that I did not and kept walking, slightly confused. It took me an hour to realize I was wearing a Facebook T-shirt.
  • An unshaven, sleepy and dufflebag armed Kevin lying on a 5th av bench probably resembles a young homeless man, or so the stares would imply.
  • Rather than buy an IPhone I just need to move to NYC the home of unsecured wifi. No job required. Just a pringles can and voilĂ  cc numbers! (No shit every where I went in NYC I found an unsecured wireless connection)
  • We the jury find the defendant Mumkin guilty of attempted nightstand clearing and sentence her to a one night ban from the bedroom.
  • Tweetie + Birdhouse = Amazing. Rectify your current status to include both.
  • Sorry I'm confused, but isn't losing Specter a bad thing for Republicans? Read the comments section.
  • Jens is testing my patience with shows in South America and California. Mr. Lekman as your biggest Boston fan, I want a show here. (I have thrown down the gauntlet and I dare any of you to challenge your love for Jens with mine. You shall fail.)
  • Having sat in the backyard for an hour now I have come to realize that the alleyway is a major druggy/homeless person thoroughfare.
  • Dumb Away Message of the Day "Its a great day to be alive!" Only someone who has been both alive & dead is qualified to make that statement.
  • How long shall we suffer before Windings is recognized as an adequate font for official documents and correspondence?
  • Since I am no good at applying for jobs I have decided to try my hand at something else I am not good at: running.
  • Thank you "Kids", I now never want to have a daughter. (This movie ruined my evening, just ask Katy. I don't want children anymore for fear that they will become mixed up with the children of delinquent parents. I can raise my children as well as anyone but if they make one mistake they could end up with AIDS. I hate people who have children who do not have the time or the mental capacity to raise them, it is incredibly self-centered and dangerous to the people around you. When in doubt, do not procreate.)
  • The big dilemma for the day in the life of Katy: to make Chocolate Chip cookies or Chocolate Chocolate Chip cookies. Decisions, decisions...
  • Mumkin has just hissed at me for the first time. The love affair is ending. A cat is a cat is a cat.
  • One resume sent off, many, many, many more to go.
  • For once there's a mouse directly in front of the sliding door & my cat shows no interest. What has she been staring @ for the last 2 months?
  • The name Charles does not appear to be spelled correctly. I have no idea which way I think it should be spelled, just not that way.
  • Katy epiphany of the day: Everything Peach is good.
  • Nothing like coming out of the shower to a girlfriend listening intently to a Scottish smut book.
Get your instant grumblings here.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

What I Am Reading: Factotum

The funny thing is I have two more Bukowski books sitting on my shelf. In the latest installment of creepy old men I enjoy reading, we have yet another Charles Bukowski book, Factotum. After Women this is the most recomended book by Bukowski, so I expect great things.

Apparently this was a movie starring Matt Dillon. Now if I were to make a movie based on a Charles Bukowski book, I would not give the role of Henry Chinaski to Johnny Drama's brother. My top five actors would be:

5. Gene Hackman: Gene Hackman has been in just short of 10,000 films and has played every role under the sun AND is in my favorite always on TV movie, The Quick and The Dead. He can play Henry Chinaski better than Matt Dillon.

4. Jack Nicholson: We know he is creepy and we know he enjoys loose woman and booze so fitting into the role of Chinaski would not be too hard. The only problem is at this time in his career what we would get in this movie would be Jack Nicholson living the life of Henry Chinaski. Jack no longer acts, he just screams at Laker games and puts butts in seats.

3. Nicolas Cage: I despise all movie Nicolas Cage except Matchstick Men, which of course is what I am drawing off of. Cage can play a creepy eccentric man, that is the only role he can play besides Nick Cage. As long as he doesn't play Nick Cage in this movie we are ok.

While I'm on the topic George Clooney is the same way, except better looking and we like the role of George Clooney and his Leatherheads and O Brother Where Art Thou persona is not creepy.

2. Casey Affleck: No he isn't a creepy old man, though he has the potential, but if you are going to be making a movie of a young Henry Chinaski, Casey (Not Ben) Affleck is your man. May need a little uglying up and an attempt to tone down the Boston accent but other than that he is awkward enough to fit the bill.

1. John Malkovich: Though I know what Bukowski looks like but John Malkovich is who I picture when I'm reading. He has no problem playing creepy, eccentric, overbearing assholes, just watch Rounders.

As for the cover, like all covers Bukowski it is a good solid cover (and it's not the movie cover mind you) but I still prefer the new covers that have been being made recently and if it was not for the movie we would have had one redone for Factotum.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

What I Just Read: A Farewell to Arms

It's a terrible cover, but if you must.

I think the moral here is, you can not judge a man by his novella. Or maybe you can. I believe I enjoyed this book just as much as I enjoyed "The Old Man and the Sea". I left somewhat satisfied but at the same time confused as to what all the hype about Hemingway was about. Maybe I just didn't get it but nothing about A Farewell to Arms was that impressive. I mean I enjoyed it just fine, yes it has flashes of brilliance at points but only just that, flashes.

Hemingway writes well when there is something to write about, in this books it was the war. But he fails to link each well written section with another equally well written section, instead he falls into dialogue that is far from stimulating.

This mostly revolved around the dialogue between the main character and the lead female character; there is just no substance. They talk endlessly for pages upon pages and nothing comes of it, not even any character development. It got to the point where I would see a large block of dialogue between the two of them and I would simply skip over it. The worst part? Katy says all Hemingway women are the same, joy.

Oh and I hated the ending.