Wednesday, January 28, 2009

It's Easy (but probably not probable) Being Green: The Flash

And we are back with a new edition of (in my best Carl Kasell impersonation) "It's East (but probably not probable) Being Green!"

Again for all of you out there, I am not Kevin L Doyle the renowned Professor on Green Energy. I am just the guy you all mistakenly email.

After a brief hiatus do to the power change in our benevolent overlords we have returned. And returned with proof that Barack Obama or Rahm Emmanuel read my blog! Need proof? Here it is:

Case closed.

Welcome President Obama, we are glad to have you here. In your honor we are going to change this into a weekly briefing on how to make the US a greener place via slightly unorthodox means. It is up to you, sir, to make these ideas a reality.

Dear Mr. President

Sir, since it is well known that you hang out with Spiderman we were wondering if you could ask him to speak with The Flash (yes I am aware that Spiderman is Marvel and the Flash is DC but if anyone can bring the two groups together it is you sir) because we have a glorious idea for green energy that includes his super speed.

What we have envisioned sir is something that resembles a large hamster wheel attached to a giant turbine. And within that hamster wheel we place the Flash and he will, powered by his super strength and super speed, run straight ahead , spinning the wheel and generate electricity. Now of course we do not know how much electricty it will end up generating it may be just enough to power a light-bulb or it could be enough to light 1/3 of the country. We think it is worth the risk of the wheel breaking from its restraints and going crashing through the surrounding area potentially killing the Flash and the millions of people in an immediate 2,000 mile radius.

We believe Mr. President that if you can convince the Flash of this plan (as only you an, we tried with President Sarkozy of France but we neglected the detail that like any good American Superhero The Flash hates the French) that we may fix our energy problem.


The Underling, staff, and the American people.

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