What I Just Read: Coming Up For Air

This was the book I was supposed to finish on our last trip to New York, that was about a month ago. I have no excuse except that that bed was so damn comfy looking.

One can never go home again, that's what I took away Coming Up For Air by George Orwell. The first half of the books is the recounting of the dull life that was and still is George Bowling, his parents, his first sexual experience, his love for fishing, serving and not serving in WW I, and about how fat he is. This mostly boring first half of the book is almost made up by the fact that the second half is devoted to him realizing that everything he remembered and held in such high regard has either vanished, changed into something he despises or may never have existed in the first place.

Yet underneath the mundane and nostalgic life of George Bowling is a classic Orwell undertone; the haves abuse the have nots and that is never going to change.

My favorite scene in the book is when George goes with his wife to listen to a famous Anti-Fascist give a lecture. George is not that interested in the lecture because he knows Hitler is a bad man and he does not need to be told so by a man spewing hatred. The thing is George does not care what type of system is in charge be it fascists, democracy, communism or whatever, he is still going to be making a few pounds a week and have to listen to his wife complain about the price of butter. He sees the arguments between the Communists and Trotsky supporter in front of him as nothing but rearranging chairs on the Titanic. Nothing matters.

Through George, Mr. Orwell is taking note of the pre WW II political landscape and saying he really does not care for it. There is going to be a war, people are going to die, England may end up under fascist rule but in the end will anything really change? Politically of course, because if Coming Up For Air tries to prove anything it's that though many things change, most things stay the same.

Though this book was fairly boring and at times difficult to get through there are very good parts to the book. In addition to the scene at the lecture, there is an almost prophetic sequence in which George describes the London Blitz with houses reduced to rubble and for the most part all out destruction. The thing is Coming Up For Air was written in June 1939 a full year before the Battle of Britain began, a truly amazing imagination.

I have always enjoyed Orwell, but then again who does not like Animal Farm and 1984. If it was not for the fact that I read Down and Out In Paris and London and loved it I do not think I would have bothered reading Coming Up for Air. I like Orwell's bleak outlook on mankind, his pessimistic view that power undoubtedly corrupts and the greedy always vanquish those who are not. It may be bleak and glass half empty , but I enjoy it.

The book design is fairly modest, a white background with gold trimming and a neat black and white picture of a man vaulting a large puddle which Katy says looks a lot like a photo that Henri Cartier-Bresson would have taken, neat none the less. I like it despite the misleading title and the hopeful picture.

I have one other Orwell book in my possession that I have yet to read, Homage to Catalonia, which is a work of non-fiction about the Spanish Civil War, I plan on giving it a try in the near future.

Jon • Kate + 8 = Why Procreation Isn't For Everyone

I really should be doing wedding things for Katy right now but I just had to tell you; Jon and Kate have a dysfunctional relationship. I know this might come as a surprise but if you throw a couple with 8 small children on TV things are not going to end well.

Enough of the trying to be funny and saying something new, I could not care less about Jon and Kate or the Angelina/Brad/Jen love triangle that occasionally turns into a rhombus when Jen finds a man (or in John Meyer's case a boy). My question is why do I need to know about Jon's hot and steamy second affair with the nanny and how they have sex when the kids are in the other room? Why do I need to know that this time Jen is over Brad for real now that she has Gerard Butler in her life (and really going for King Leonidas? So cliche.)

The answer is I don't know, and there will always be room for useless gossip in American culture, you can not get rid of it. The truth is I am fascinated by this in a way, Brad and Jen split up in 2005, or so my research says and yet we are still talking about them. They are either incredibly weak when it comes to their emotions or their is a vast conspiracy in the entertainment industry to keep this story going to make us forget about the fact that Jennifer Aniston's career ended when Friends ended. Regardless the 4 years of Star magazine covers is not ending any time soon.

As for Jon and Kate who thinks having 8 kids is a good idea? OK, and who thinks having camera crews and producers follow your every movement is a good idea? Now let's combine those two ideas. If you came anywhere near the word "moronic" then you are correct. These people are egotistical maniacs! They had 8 children for Christ's sake, talk about narcissistic (and do not blame the fertility drugs, they already had two kids, they knew the chances of having too many kids and they could have helped the world out and adopted). Then they went on TV? When has reality TV ever led to good things? The first winner of Survivor went to jail, and have you seen Flavor of Love?

I don't know where this is going so I'm just going to stop here, but before I go I just want to say do not have 8 children, do not lay your relationship out for all of America to see, and do not under any circumstances date Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, or Jennifer Aniston.

Not Every Kitchen is Hell, Just the Two I've Worked In

Working in a busy kitchen is one of the most stressful environments anyone can work in. The only way one can have more stress is if they have someones life in their hands, have millions of dollars at risk, or they are getting shot at. I know what your saying, "But I have a deadline for a report for Friday", yeah well in a kitchen you have a deadline every 5 seconds and if you miss it the boss is hollering at you, which tends to add to the stress of the next order and it's all down hill from there.

A few summers ago I worked at Woodman's of Essex, the place where the fried clam was invented by a man who was not so ironically called "Chubby". Woodman's is a family run business so as a result there are something like 25 people you have to listen to. Though I may not have liked the way they treated their employees or how they seem to think you should pay for the honor of eating at a hot and sticky clam shack where you have to pick your food up at a window, I still count it as a large and fairly positive experiment in my life. For if it wasn't for Woodman's I wouldn't have learned how to fry, to mop, to wake up at 5 AM, what it's like to smell like fried food for days, or the amount of time and effort that goes into preparing a restaurant each day. Nor would I be working for Bartley's where the only reason I was hired was because "I've never worked with someone who worked at Woodman's before, so I guess I'll have to give you a try."

Bartley's is a whole different animal then Woodman's. First off I actually like the food we cook (Burgers), second, all I do is put the toppings on the food and place it in the window, no burning myself required. The biggest thing of all to me is that the guy who does all the hollering and demanding actually works in the kitchen and the kitchen would not be able to run without him. I admit it sucks getting yelled at, but when it's coming from someone who is doing something much harder than you and not just standing around dictating then there is nothing you can do but shut up and do it right.

Yeah I stand on my feet all day and yeah I get paid far less than I would if I was sitting in an office at a computer with a fraction of the stress and physical labor but in a small way it's rewarding and eye opening. Yes I will keep telling myself that.

Freaks + Economics

Even though I worked at a Borders and therefore know that all those "sales" and "deals" are just scams it does not mean I'm smart enough to not fall for it. As a result I walked away with Freakanomics by Levitt and Dubner, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson as well as Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. I went in there with a 40% coupon looking only to get Neverwhere, make you own judgments.

In my defense I have always wanted to read Freakonomics, but because they decided to reissue it 2340239 times in hardcover form I had decided to pass on it for the past 37 years.

Quick side note on why I prefer paperbacks to hardcover books.

1. Paperbacks are cheaper
2. Paperbacks have art work directly on the cover where as hardcovers tend to be bland and indistinguishable from one to the next.
3. Dust jackets, the bane of my existence.

I may have bent your ear about my hatred for dust jackets before, and if I have feel free to stop me. Dust covers suit one purpose, to look stupid. Why would one cover a perfectly good solid book cover of cardboard and cloth with a flimsy easily rippable piece of paper and think that its going to do anything but fall apart? Let me let you in on a little secret: Hardcovers are a scam and serve very little purpose besides being a collectors item.

And now back to our regularly schedule program

What appealed to me about this book, aside from the fact that I always liked the blog that was based on this book, was that it seemed to a easy way to explain economics to a kid who got a C- in Economics. That and it's full of random facts and as you all know I love random facts, much to the detriment of social situations.

Because this book is just a bunch of random facts and tidbits I am going to give you my observations and points in the same fashion.

- This book brought about an argument between my mother and myself that involved African American women from the South Side of Chicago, crack, and me calling my mother stupid (though I continue to believe the phrase "you do not know what you are talking about" is not an insult as much as a statement of fact).

- My favorite part of the book was when they debunked the theory of broken windows used to fight crime in NYC during the 90's. If you are one of the hundreds of people who have had to listen to me talk about how great broken windows is, I'm sorry and no you can not have that 20 minutes of your life back. No you can not speak to a manager.

- Rudy Giuliani is a fraud.

- I need to start following Sumo, Japans national past-time. Apparently the game of fat men is so important to Japan players cheat, sort of like Baseball in America. For those of you keeping score at home I now need to get into Sumo and Soccer.

- Conventional wisdom is usually wrong.

Overall a very enjoyable read, I had a hard time putting it down. I would recommend it to anyone who like myself has a hard time visualizing economic theory and the day to day effects of social factors on the economy. And no I have no idea what I just said. It was a good book, read it if you get the chance.

The cover of this book has potential and I'm sure when they first made the cover, with just the Orange/Apple on the front it looked great. Then they added the title and the authors, normal enough. Then they added the subtitle, a quote, the lines "New York Times Bestseller" "Finally in Paperback" and "With New Material" and the cover starts to look like every other book in the business section. With all that said I like that they kept with the colors of the Orange/Apple in regards to everything on the cover.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note to any of you readers who actually borrow books from me. You can't anymore. I'm done sharing with you paper folding bastards. Of course I don't mean that, part of the reason I buy all my books, besides from my capitalistic obsession to own everything I touch, is so I can give the books to other people to enjoy. So to make that easier and to give me a reason to play "Librarian" every once in a while I have started cataloguing all my books.

What I Just Read: The Grapes of Wrath

My pledge to avoid all things trendy and hip has brought me to The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. The Grapes of Wrath is the foremost novel cataloging and illustrating the effects of The Depression of the early 20th century. Don't worry, I'm a step ahead of you, I realize what could be more trendy than a book about The Depression when the American economy is in the worst recession since the early 20th century. My answer is, probably nothing. If anyone were to see me reading this book they would probably think "he must be worried about the economy". Blast! Foiled again!

No I am not in fact reading this because I might be heading Californy way because my crops failed and my Political Science degree holds no value (though with recent headlines California may not be a viable option). In fact I read (or was supposed to read) The Grapes of Wrath in my AP English class. It being a large book as well as my mothers favorite book, and wtih me being a rebellious teenager and there being something called SparkNotes, I took a pass. Being a little older, and a little geekier (or maybe its embracing my geekyness) I have decided to revisit books that I passed on in High School, this being the first one.

I really enjoyed reading it this time, took me a bit to get into it, but once I got past the part where I stopped last time I started to get into it. I particularly enjoyed how with every other chapter Steinbeck takes a different approach to the story. By that I mean every odd chapter is a sort of short story, mirroring the way he writes in The Pearl, except when he does so it is setting up the scene for the next chapter where the story of the Joads continues. A story of poverty and what that poverty does to those in it and those outside of it.

It's actually a very pertinent book in respect to my situation right now, granted I have a roof over my head, food to eat and if it came to it I always have my parents. That being said, the past few months have been like the Joads heading to California, thinking about working, thinking about what I'm going to do when I graduate. Tom Joad's parole is like my Logic grade, I'm just waiting to get caught, and the Joads finally reaching California is like me taking my last final, now I really need a job.

It may have been that weak connection with the book I just mentioned or it might be that I realized Steinbeck isn't that wordy after all. Regardless I think I like the man.

******

This is the most common copy of the book in bookstores today. It is a paperback, not a hardcover, so therefore it does not have nor does it need a dust jacket (I hate dust jackets). For some odd reason Penguin Books got it into their heads that they should sully some of their books by making it appear as if it does in fact have a dust jacket on it. They do this by elongating the front and back covers of the book (so the covers are double the size of the book) and then folding the outer half of the cover in upon it self, making it resemble a dust jacket. The reason for this is twofold; one is to add more information about the book to the inside cover, and the second reason is to infuriate me.

I would remiss if I did not tell you that I have contemplated removing the inside portions of all these books with a razor blade. Not just my books (for which I have and never will have any such monstrosities) but all books such as this, a crusade of sorts, a crusade to purify the ranks of books.

And so this is why I purchased a Penguin Classic version of The Grapes of Wrath. Now Penguin Classics are not the most desirable versions of a book to buy, mostly because the format is the same for every book (black background, white trim complete with orange and white font, only the upper two thirds of the front cover differing from book to book) and the quality of paper is only a step above Bible paper (Bible paper is incredibly thin in order to make the thickness of the book as small as possible, the offset is easily tear-able and partially see through paper). I only buy them when every other copy of the book is undesirable to me.

That being said, I do like this cover (upper 2/3) for the artwork. Not being an art critic, I cannot tell you why I like it (if I was to tell you I would say it is for the burnt tones of the piece), I just do. Though I think it might have something to do with the simplicity.

What I Just Read: Guns, Germs and Steel

I started reading this about two years ago, I got to the part about domesticating plants and animals, after that it's all just a blur. Well actually it seemed quite boring to me, I think I was on my first Co-Op, maybe not. Regardless the point is I finished reading it, finally. I had not thought about finishing until I came to the realization that out of all the books I had read this is the book that I reference the most, so I should probably finish it before recommending it to others.

Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond is an explanation for why the world is the way it is. Now I'm sure some historians and other people who are more intelligent than myself may not see it that way but Mr. Diamond explained why white people seemingly rule the modern world and why we ride horses instead of llamas. It was helpful, I learned quite a bit and would recommend it to anyone who wants to get an understanding of how the current world came to be.

As for the book itself, I have done no research but my guess is that the cover is a artistic depiction of the abduction of Montezuma by Cortes and his men. Which if it is true is an apt picture for the cover of a book that goes onto explain how a hundred or so Spaniards took down the strongest Empire in North America. By explain I mean go back to the days of Mesopotamia and give a step by step set of directions on how best to develop a dominant society. (Hint: It involves thousands of years, a few plagues, and a lot of wars). I like the cover, the book is a bit on the tall side, but if you made it smaller it would also be bigger, if that makes any sense.

I plan on reading Jared Diamond's other books (Collapse, The Third Chimpanzee and Why is Sex Fun?) some time in the future but not for some time. For now I'm still reading The Grapes of Wrath and then after that Katy requires that I read Crime and Punishment, or else.

And we end this rather short yet never ending post with a book I really want to read but can't bring myself to buy because of how many books I already own that I have not read yet; it's called Sum by David Eagleman and it's all theories about what happens to you when you die. I blame you Radio Lab.

What I Just Read: Political Waters

As the last book I will ever read for my Undergraduate career Political Waters by Eric Jay Dolin perfectly summarizes how I felt about most books I read and classes I took while at Northeastern; it was interesting but overall the information lends itself to specific arguments that do little to interest the audience (in this particular realm it was environmental law, something I care little for even though this is the third class that I have come in contact with it).

If you were ever confused as to what Dirty Water by The Standells was about then this is your book. Political Waters chronicles the development and consequent reseolution of the Boston Harbor pollution problem, which began when the Puritans settled the Shawmut Peninsula and then began making waste.

Political Waters explains why and how sewer systems were implemented in America and how the process went from a private affair to an incredibly public one. An affair that saw countless acts of legislation and private suits that brought us to our current situation.

A little side not: Boston Harbor is actually quite clean in comparrison to what it has been like in the past, noticibly cleaner than even 15 years ago. That being said I wouldn't swim in it. Oh and please head the signs.


The book itself has a textbook feel to it with the glossy cover all the way around and the rather long sub heading. The book is large (tall and wide, not thick) and upon inspection of the text inside you realize it does not need to be. Though those features are enough for me to say to hell with the book I am intrigued by the map/painting on the cover. The cover is a detailed illustration of what looks to me as mid to late 17th century Boston. Being a large fan of maps and illustrations of cities this cover of course would pique my interest, and I of course am known to have purchased books solely because they have neat covers.

As I said before this is my last book for class at Northeastern, this week marks my last week as an Undergrad. It's weird, and I really don't know what to say. Honestly I don't. Maybe just that from here on out I would like to think the books I read will always be of my choosing.

An Open Letter to Dan Shaughnessy

Below is my response to his most recent column and every other column he is ever written.

Dan,

I would appreciate it if you stopped writing columns that prey on people's emotions and disparage individuals when it is easy and convenient for you to do so. Not only is your attack on David Ortiz of speculative nature on a court ordered sealed document it also leaves out the good he has done for people through reaching out to the community. Of course the only thing that matters he tried to be a little better at his job, have you ever cheated on your taxes, have you ever broken the speed limit, have you ever knowingly hurt someone? How is it you find yourself on Mount Pious smiting those who break your moral code?

But I understand, you created the curse, you perpetuated it and you stand to make money from a new one. You ruined Nomar, Pedro, Manny and now Papi, men my childhood was based on. I hope you're (corrected at the behest of Mr. Shaughnessy) happy.

Sincerely,

Kevin Doyle


Edit: In his response Mr. Shaugnessy noticed that i put YOUR instead of YOU'RE like I should have, that was after he told me to grow up.

A Clarification, or Three

There are a few search terms that keep appearing in my Google Analytic's report and I would like to clarify them so as to help you find what you are looking for.

1) What is an underling?

Well Merriam-Webster Dictionary categorizes and "underling" as: One who is under the orders of another.

In a sense we are all underlings unless you are the President of the United States but then again even he has a wife to deal with, so yes we are all underlings.

Official Definition of "underling" for Grumbling of an Underling is hereby: Everyone in the world.

2) Neil Gaiman's girlfriend is Amanda "Fucking" Palmer (twitter @amandapalmer) she looks like this:

She makes music, usually sad, but is really cool to see in concert (scroll down). You should be happy for Neil.

3) a. In entering "Kevin Doyle" into Google you have come here. More than likely you are looking for an Irish soccer star by the same name, sadly I am not he. Try Google again and click any link other than this one you will get something about him. He looks like this:

As you can see I bare little resemblance to him. Although I do bare a striking resemblance to this guy.

b. You Googled (a word that is surprisingly not a word in Google's spell check) "Kevin Doyle green" in which case you were surprised to find that I advocate things such as the invasions of Mexico and Canada to guarantee our energy independence. That's because you are looking for Kevin L Doyle the professor of Green Energy (kevinLdoyle@gmail.com) and not a college kid begging for a job. Speaking of which....

c. If you have come to my blog through doing research about me in order to decide if I am worthy of offering a job you should know that I will never sell out to the man and give up this blog.




OK that's a lie, I would willingly stop and even delete this blog if it meant a full time job. What? If this blog only ends up being a way to get a job through deleting it then I see it as a win.

Consider Yourself Soiled Ol' Glory!

As I have noted before I am taking a "A History of Boston" as one of my final two classes (which I have to pass by the way). In this class there are a couple books I have to read, books I may or may not have read if it were not for this class. The first book I enjoyed very little and concluded that because of it's title, appearance and plot there is very little chance I would have ever read it.

The Soiling of Old Glory by Louis P. Masur catalogs the issues and the incident behind the famous photo by photographer Stanley Forman. It uses the infamous photo to deconstruct the outbreak of racial animosity in Boston during the 1970's so we can better understand why it happened. For me it read much like a 200 page Wikipedia article, informative but at the same time dry and boring.

Having read All Souls by Michael Patrick MacDonald when I was younger I already have a fair grasp on the riots and violence that surrounded the forced busing of the 1970's. What really interested me was the photo, which I have never come across although I have lived in Massachusetts my whole life.

Stanley Forman won a Pulitzer for "Old Glory" which pictures a black man being held while a young white male is poised to strike him with the tip of a pole holding an American flag. The scene takes place in front of Boston City Hall during an anti-busing demonstration which Ted Landmark (the pictured black man) was unfortunate to walk through.


Mr. Forman also won a Pulitzer for a picture he had shot a year prior to his picture of the flag. This picture (shown below) was taken at a fire in Boston, and while taking photos of the scene Mr. Forman took this photo moments after a fire escape gave way and sent the child and woman five floors to the pavement. The woman pictured died as a result of the fall while miraculously the child survived. As a result of this photo, which ran on the front page of the Herald American, Forman was characterized as an oppurtunist who chose to take pictures from safety instead of helping those in trouble. When in fact this very photo led to sweeping reform of Boston fire escape laws which have undoubtedly saved countless lives since.


The book itself is a fairly average book with a glossy cover that borrows heavily from the picture it chronicles. The font used for the title is in all caps with a paint splattering effect which leaves dots of color on the white background. It's simple and lacks originality mostly because the picture was not hard to find when the book is based on said picture.

In the end the photo itself and it's photographer are very interesting and warrant more interest on my part, but the book itself delves heavily into why the photo is visually compelling instead of simply leaving it to the reader to comprehend and providing the setting it was in (which it does but I feel the setting is lost in the details). In all likelihood I would not read this book if it were not for my class, mostly because I know the setting in which this picture took place and all I would need to see is the photo and a brief history of the actual event itself.

I feel like this post can not end so abruptly, so I'm going to dally for a moment.......wait for it........OK, now we can say goodbye.

GOODBYE!

On Hispsters and Lullabies

A couple weekends ago Katy and I were going to see the tall ships and decided to bring our books, she Trainspotting (cult movie starring Ewen McGreggor) and me Lullaby (if you read but not much, you read Chuck Palahniuk). Katy joked that if anyone looked in her purse (which because of her refusal to be like every other girl and buy a duffel bag for a purse has our books sticking out of it) they would think we were trendy/hipsters.

Now if you know me you know I hate trendy people and I hate hipsters, mostly because they stole my witty t-shirts, my skinniness, made listening to certain music and books that I might like or read "hip" and decided to like shitty beer that I also like to drink form time to time. (Katy says their mantra is "i take photos, drink shit beer, and read cool books").

So I might be called a hipster, because they share traits with me. Just like I used to get "you take emo pictures" because I hate posing for pictures. I'm perilously close to being a victim of "hipster" profiling and I'm not even a fucking hipster! Though apparently I'm only a stupid hat and a pant size away from being a spitting image of one.

Now you did not come here for a rant about hipsters and my apparent likeness to them, though I'm sure you enjoyed it. You came here because you wanted to get the skinny (always wanted to use that word) on Lullaby. Besides not being able to get the voice and image of Edward Norton out of my head, Lullaby is solidly enjoyable novel of very easy language and fairly predictable plot.

Upon reading Lullaby I now understand why so many people consider Chuck Palahniuk their favorite author and why Fight Club translated so easily from a book to a hit movie. Mr. Palahiuk writes with a distinct style and flow to his book which makes the digestion easy and therefore keep the book going at a fast pace. It reads like a movie. With a hint of anti-society mixed in.

But more than anything I like it because it makes you think about situations that are in a way possible but at the same time not thought about as much as they should be. I would go into the specific thought process I came away with but I would ruin the book. If you read it and the part about possible genocide via irregular means catches your interest then feel free to send me an email and we can talk about it.

Lullaby is a beautiful book to behold. The cover is a solid white with black curvy font, with a dead bird placed in the middle. The texture of the cover is not rough or slippery, but instead, for lack of a better term "grippy". The pages on the inside are filled to the edges, not wasting excess space on borders. My one grippe is that chapter endings and chapter beginnings never share a page back to back, I feel not doing so is a waste of paper. But that is far from a deal breaker, just excessive.

More books by Mr Palahniuk will be read in the future I am sure but for now I think I will stick to the classics and critically acclaimed in lieu of the confusion surrounding the question of my "hipster" qualities.

(P • B) ⊃ B

I like Blueberry Pancakes (and Raspberry ones) and I like beer, and because I am taking a Logic class (which I may or may not pass, evidence of the latter to follow) I can say say that just because I like Blueberry Pancakes and I like beer does not mean I would like Blueberry Pancake beer. Aux contrare monfrare! As a matter of fact (P • B) ⊃ B! [(If I like Blueberry Pancakes • I like Beer) ⊃ I like Blueberry Pancake Beer!]

To be fair, Sea Dog Blue Paw is not meant to be a Blueberry Pancake Beer, just merely a beer that tastes like blueberries. Yet the buttery aftertaste combined with the taste of blueberries makes you feel like you are gorging yourself on pancakes that have the added benefit of getting you drunk. I feel as if Willy Wonka is behind this, realizing that beer that tastes like a delicious meal is far more marketable than his three course gum.

That being said I find it hard to keep up my very manly reputation while frequently being seen drinking a fruit beer (pun intended). Katy very frequently attacks my manliness on the grounds that I enjoy beers such as UFO Raspberry, Sea Dog Blue Paw and Hell or High Watermelon (though her intentions for doing so elude me). Here I mount my defense.

1. Try Sea Dog, I guarantee you will like it! (imagine a local TV commercial pitchman voice and then do what it says)

2. Since when does like a tasty beer make you less manly? Why do I have to drink Coors Light or Bud Light to be a man? Or to go to the other end why do I need to drink IPA or some bitter beer that looks like it was fermented with black licorice to be a man? Why can't I just like the beer that I like.

3. Which brings me to my next point, in Belgium, one of the leaders in beer making since the beginning of time, drink a fruit flavored beer known as Lambic. Besides being one of the best things on the face of the planet (though when I say this leave the Cherry flavored one out, it tastes like Robitussin), it is not considered non manly to have.

4. It is made in Maine and real men are from Maine.

With my manliness living to fight (or not fight) another day, we now come to the obvious the question; if a beer tastes like blueberry pancakes and blueberry pancakes are eaten for breakfast is it OK for one to drink a blueberry pancake tasting beer for breakfast?

I say yes, but then again I am not opposed to drinking at all hours of the day to begin with. I mean the ability to have a drink, not actually drink all hours of the day, I may be manly but not that manly.

The Buck Stops Here

To quote the large book about a man I read in 7th grade, "The Buck Stops Here". Big Buck Hunter makes me want to buy a shotgun and go hunting for Big Buck Hunter consoles. In particular the Big Buck Hunter at TC's Lounge. Why? Because at no point in it's existence does that game not piss me off.

The one thing that really, really, really, really gets my gourd (old people say it why can't I?) is the noise that emanates from the machine when someone is not playing it. It makes this western wolf like noise every time the game starts it's loop. If you have been with me to TC's you would know that each time it does this I also make a noise, but one a game isn't allowed to make.

Now let's get one thing straight, if you live in Boston, you attend Berklee, you wear flip flops with pants and you frequent a drinking establishment called TC's Lounge then you are not a hunter and the closest you are going to get to a rifle and a large four legged animal is a paint ball gun and your friends Newfoundland (an exchange you would lose). So no, I'm not impressed by the "skillz" you have in respect to Big Buck Hunter, because if that gun was real and that Moose an actual 400 pound piece of meat and fur you would have no clue what to do.

Which brings me to my next point; it's just glorified target practice, that cheetah isn't going to maul you and that heard of Buffalo isn't going to trample you. There is no threat to your person what so ever, you are hitting clay ducks but instead of a gun with kickback its a glorified laser pointer for $1 - $2. That's fun?

That all being said, I had my moment of weakness with the game a few weeks ago when Katy and I went to NYC for her to sit in a meeting and for me to drink at random bars. At one of these said bars I was going to the bathroom and I noticed that there was a "Safari" edition of Buck Hunter. After scoffing at it I noticed that there was one credit already loaded on the game, and being a person who never turns down things that are free, and apparently a person who changes there opinion on things just because they are now free (so yes give me free things and then I will no longer sneer at you, strong convictions), I decided to give it the good old college try (I have no idea what that means but I wanted to say it). I picked my weapon (having never fired a weapon this was quite simple and random), I picked my prey (always wanted to hunt Elephant, just don't have the few extra grand laying around to pay off an African tribe to tie one up for me to shoot), and I was ready.

Then the machine prompted me for another credit. Like teachers making making 10 question quizzes worth 20 points, this machine made one play worth 2 credits. Why would they do that? Besides making me feel and look like a complete and utter moron I can think of no reasons.

So yes Big Buck Hunter does make me want to shoot things, but four legged animals have no need to be worried.

What I Just Read: The Shoemaker and The Tea Party

As you may or may not know I have entered my final term at Northeastern University (Not Northwestern, unfortunately I am not that smart), and as one of my two final classes I am taking The History of Boston, which I am calling "Story Time take 2" (the first "Story Time" being America and the Sea). In this class like many classes out there we have to read books and the first book is The Shoemaker and the Tea Party by Alfred F. Young, and in the words of a Chicken Lou's cook "What could be more fun than Shoemakers and Tea Parties?"

As a matter of fact there probably far more things more interesting than Tea Parties and Shoemakers. George Robert Twelves Hewes, "The Shoemaker" mentioned in the title of this book, is the vehicle used by the author to show how the "Tea Party" changed to suit the political necessities of the day.

The analysis of the "Tea Party" is well done, even if it is slightly obvious. It is the biography of Mr. Hewes that irks me, it is mostly a regurgitation of two period biographies and a whole bunch of inference (second class this semester is logic btw). All in all I would call it weak, and Hewes a victim of circumstance and good genes and not all that deserving of a biography. The Tea Party thesis could easily be made without.

Fun Fact: Hewes named his 11th son, Eleven. Best "Boy Named Sue theory" name ever.

The cover looks and feels like a Borders Classics book, that is to say rushed and ugly. The inside of the book is average with period pictures through out.

Suffice to say I would never buy this book nor read it if I was not required to do so.

It's Easy (but probably not probable) Being Green: Hydro-Electric Home

Here is our ongoing segment known as It's Easy (but probably not probable) Being Green. Which is ripped from a Kermit the Frog song. Again I am not the green energy consulted that also goes by the name Kevin Doyle, I'm just the guy who mistakenly gets his emails.

Dear Mr. President,

I hope this letter finds you well, and after we last met I hope this letter simply finds you at all. Again I apologize.

But moving beyond that I would like to get straight to the point, I have an idea that could save the average American a bit of money on their electric bill, that is of course if they live in the Northeast and that is also of course if it continues to rain non-stop in the Northeast and if the system is actually cost-effective, I'm just the man who thinks of things, I don't actually implement them.

As you know the Northeast has become a rain forest in the past 2 or so months, with nonstop rain drenching the area on a daily basis. What I propose is that we harness this rain water on a house to house basis and turn it into electricity.

In my two dimensional illustration pictured above I show how water defies physics and runs down only one side and one corner of a roof, hits a water wheel and through a system of pulleys it somehow charges a battery. I claim to know nothing about either weather patterns or power generation but I do look outside and I do notice my electric bill and there must be a connection. That's why I think you should hand this off to your energy experts (of which you would do well to remember I am not one of them) and have them develop the system and give it the American Public, the word "give" being loosely defined by you.

As always Mr. President feel use your "Bully Pulpit" to beat people into submission and make them implement this system. Though if the black and blue populace does not re-elect as a consequence don't come crying to me.

Sincerely,

Kevin (No L required) Doyle