A Clarification, or Three

There are a few search terms that keep appearing in my Google Analytic's report and I would like to clarify them so as to help you find what you are looking for.

1) What is an underling?

Well Merriam-Webster Dictionary categorizes and "underling" as: One who is under the orders of another.

In a sense we are all underlings unless you are the President of the United States but then again even he has a wife to deal with, so yes we are all underlings.

Official Definition of "underling" for Grumbling of an Underling is hereby: Everyone in the world.

2) Neil Gaiman's girlfriend is Amanda "Fucking" Palmer (twitter @amandapalmer) she looks like this:

She makes music, usually sad, but is really cool to see in concert (scroll down). You should be happy for Neil.

3) a. In entering "Kevin Doyle" into Google you have come here. More than likely you are looking for an Irish soccer star by the same name, sadly I am not he. Try Google again and click any link other than this one you will get something about him. He looks like this:

As you can see I bare little resemblance to him. Although I do bare a striking resemblance to this guy.

b. You Googled (a word that is surprisingly not a word in Google's spell check) "Kevin Doyle green" in which case you were surprised to find that I advocate things such as the invasions of Mexico and Canada to guarantee our energy independence. That's because you are looking for Kevin L Doyle the professor of Green Energy (kevinLdoyle@gmail.com) and not a college kid begging for a job. Speaking of which....

c. If you have come to my blog through doing research about me in order to decide if I am worthy of offering a job you should know that I will never sell out to the man and give up this blog.




OK that's a lie, I would willingly stop and even delete this blog if it meant a full time job. What? If this blog only ends up being a way to get a job through deleting it then I see it as a win.

It's Easy (but probably not probable) Being Green: Sailcar

Here is our ongoing segment known as It's Easy (but probably not probable) Being Green. Which is ripped from a Kermit the Frog song. Again I am not the green energy consulted that also goes by the name Kevin Doyle, I'm just the guy who gets his emails.

Mr. President

As a result of your rejection of last weeks plan to invade both Canada and Mexico on the grounds that stealing their oil and then using their homelands as vacation spots does not constitute itself as Green Energy we have come up with a new plan that involves no military involvement what so ever. Sailing cars.

It is quite simple really, we take cars and make them work like sailboats on land. Easy concept.

The advantages of a sailing car would be enormous, especially in very windy cities. It would also be a boon to the ailing sail market as well as spur a whole new generation of sailors which is something we need in order to take back The America's Cup. Damn Swiss and their landlocked country.....

And unlike ideas such as ethanol cars, hybrids and nuclear powered vehicles anyone with a regular car can retrofit it to work as a sail powered vehicle at a small price that we think the government should finance.

There are of course downsides,

1. Useless in areas of the country that get very little wind (we are currently developing a technique that incorporates oars for no-wind situations)
2. Unable to outrun tornadoes
3. Requires roads a mile wide to allow for tacking in head wind conditions
4. Silly sailor outfits would proliferate
5. Engine vs Sail style Road Rage.

All workable problems for sure, I just bring them to your attention so we can put your experts on the case to figure them out.

No sir I'm not an expert.

What am I? I'm just a guy who gets mistaken as a green energy expert and subsequently gets a lot of emails with invites to Green Energy conferences.

Of course I'm not qualified to speak .

Don't blame me! You are the one who let me in here!

Wait, hold on! Hey get your god damn hands of of me!

:Scuffling noises:

Mr, President! Mr. President! Rahm!!!!!

It's Easy (but probably not probable) Being Green: Operation Total NAFTA

Here is our ongoing segment known as It's Easy (but probably not probable) Being Green. Which is ripped from a Kermit the Frog song. Again I am not the green energy consulted that also goes by the name Kevin Doyle, I'm just the guy who gets his emails.

Mr. President

In our last report we advised you that in order to secure energy independence for this country you should invade Canada.

We have noticed that the invasion is till in the pre-planning stages. Though we believe that it is imperative that the invasion take place as soon as possible, this does allow for an opportunity to add a second phase to the plan: The Invasion of Mexico.

With the addition of Mexico to the plan we believe the codename for the entire operation be dubbed Operation Total NAFTA, a final act in the play started by the 41st President. Other possible names were: operation "Spanish American War Part Dos" but that left Canada out where as operation "Clean the Attic" only works for Canada and not Mexico.

But enough of this clerical mumbo jumbo sir, I'm going to cut to the quick; Mexico is warm in the winter and the Northern USA is not. Because of that warmth Mexicans do not have to pay for heat (the fact that even if they had to they would not be able to is irrelevant) Americans in northern latitudes unfortunately have to. But by invading Mexico we could create a winter quarters of sorts for all Americans who are forced to heat their homes every year.

Of course in the summer months we would relocate the population back to the northern part of the country (and move the southern part of the country to Canada to save on air conditioning costs). Think of all of this as a mass vacation of sorts to escape the cold (and subsequently the heat).

As for the transportation we figured you can just nationalize the Airline industry a few times a year, I mean they would be more than happy to give up their profits to help America, I'm sure of it.