So Long and Thanks for All the Books

I worked at Borders for 10 months and all I got was this stupid name tag.

As you may or may not know two weeks ago I decided to resign my position as junior used car salesman at Borders Inc. because of something I like to call "Corporate Differences". Well today was my last day, an uneventful one that resulted in me getting a free drink in the cafe. No not because I donated a bag of beans to the USO but because I somehow have aquired 5 Borders Bucks. Here is my thoughts on my departure.

Things I Will Not Miss:

• "Do you have a Borders Rewards card? Would you like one, it just takes 30 seconds, an email address and it's completely free?"
• The Kid's Section
• Listening to Genilee talk about her cats, her 42348923 nieces and nephews, how she does not want to pass her genetics on, how she can't touch candy because she will pass out, how she is being promoted to a fictional position of "head cashier", why she only drinks Diet Mountain Dew, her response to customers asking how she is which is "awake", her babel about how much product she suckers customers into buying.
• Master Wok
  
• Heather and that condescending sneer that she gives whenever I ask her a question.
• The T-Mobile sellers
• Finding playboys in the Manga section
• Pep talks on how to get my Borders Rewards numbers up. You know how I got that 70% Borders? I punched in random phone numbers and made fake accounts. And you didn't catch me!
• Joel Olsteen's stupid face
  
• The Asian guy who always put things on reserve so he could go get money from the ATM but then never came back.
• People who read Twilight. Or as Borders calls them "Twihards".
• Recovering the sex section and having people tell me that "You can really find good books in this section"
• The Big Penis Book
• Telling people they should donate a bag of bean's to the troops so they can drink something good for once. Yes because what we need is shitty Border's coffee running through our soldier's veins as they dodge bullets and get rocket proppelled grenades shot at them. At least they are drinking good coffee.
  
• Being told that I'm an idiot by customer's who, though they can't read the sign that says "enter line here", are smarter than me.
  
• Joel Olsteen's Wife's even stupider face.
• Having to place Toni Morrison's books next to books like this.
• Operating registers from the 1980's
• U2
• Motown Hits
• Frank Sinatra
• Bruce Springsteen
  
• My Chemical Romance
• Paul McCartney and the Fireman
• New Bob Dylan
• Robert Plant & Allison Kraus
• Having to explain that why Borders does not have a Biography section.
• Seeing The Shack as the number one best seller.
• Tucker Max
• Telling people to just go buy it on Amazon.
• Explaining why it says "Likely in Store" and not "In Stock" and then providing an example of why it says just that.
  

Things I Will Miss:

• My discount.

Now the Underling needs to go find a job.......

"Recomendations" + Poor Children + The Homeless + Soldiers = 2 Weeks

I have been meaning to post this for about a week and a half now but for one reason or another I have not, sorry.

So I quit my job. Borders to be specific. I know, no more discount on books, how could I? Here's how:

Since I started working at Borders the company has been shifting it's Customer Service in store staff towards being salesmen, are new name was "bookseller". With the downturn of the economy and the retention of bankruptcy lawyers on the part of Borders they really started to tightening the screws on the entire staff to start "urging" customers to buy a specific product.

Before I went to Egypt I could handle the little bits of pressure the managers put on me and I would just shrug it off and move on with my day. Upon my return things were a little different.

What confronted me was a sign that said if any employee failed to great and "recommend" a product to every customer within 10 feet of them they would be terminated. On top of that we would each be graded for every CSI (those surveys the ask you to fill out over the phone at the register) that is issued during our shift. As well as we would be graded by a manager and asked to sign off on said grade each shift. Not to mention there are four specific products that we are supposed to be "intimate" with so we can better "recommended" them to customers (last week they were a stuffed bunny, a medical narrative about a woman with cancer, some random harcover novel about a Chinese love story, and the new Jodi Piccoult book. If I had my way I would reccomend they don't buy those things).

Throw on top of that our "charities" that we run at the register which include a stuffed bunny you can buy for $6 that we take all the profits from and then donate to the Salvation army, or the book drive that requires you to by a specific book from us that we again take the profit from and then donate at your behest, OR (my favorite) you can buy a bag of coffee beans from us for $10 and donate it to the troops oversees for which we get all the profit and you can have a free drink from our cafe.

Because you know if there is one thing our servicemen and women need in Iraq and Afghanistan it's to be hooked on bad coffee. Here's a real charity, how about we start taking money that goes to buying them more body armor or maybe to help disabled veterans recover from injuries such as missing extremities or PTSD. Preying on peoples emotions with poor children, the homeless and soldiers just to make a buck. Fuck You Borders for making me feel guilty every time I process a transaction. Shame on you.

And all this in a time of economic recession.

For those reasons I gave my two weeks notice on Saturday March 21st, and for that reason all my co-workers (some managers included) gave me congratulations. Just a little something Borders, when your employees congratulate each other about being able to quit the company it means you are doing something wrong.

Manliness takes a critical hit!

The things I do for my employee discount.....

The Christmas Season

I don't think I truly understood how big of a deal Christmas is in the retail industry. I mean I knew that it is the biggest shopping time of the year but I didn't know that Christmas is the be all end all for retail stores, if you have a bad Christmas season then it goes without saying that you will have a bad year.

As you all know I work at Borders, the one at the Cambridge Side Galleria, so yes once a week I go to a mall. In this realm I am my fathers son, I despise malls, there is just too many people "shopping". When I go to a mall I am going to buy a specific item, not to look around and leave without buying what I came for. The environment is too sterile and preconceived for me to enjoy being there, it's corporate and I really don't like corporate things.

But alas one must make a living, or try to, so I work where I get the most benefit. Borders being a bookstore and I primarily only buying books when I buy things it was the place for me. Which in the end makes me feel better about trying to sell items to people. Where I work they are buying items that expand knowledge, provide entertainment and enjoyment. It's not a nick-knack, or a gimmicky piece of electronic equipment.

Yet still in the current economy I feel like it is wrong to try and push more expensive items on people who can not afford it and probably should do without for the time being. I know our store isn't making plan each week and I know that has resulted in hours being cut and pressure being put on the staff to sell more items. My own job is at stake but yet I would feel bad pressuring other people in order to guarantee my own job.

That's why I'm not meant for retail.

Underling Squared!

So I work at Borders, something I have mentioned a few times now and I promised a post this Sunday for you. Well it's Sunday and I should be at work right now so here is your post about Borders.

Borders is one of two very large national booksellers (not bookstore) the other being Barnes & Noble, they are not the same company. Just because they both sell books and they both start with a "B" unfortunately does not mean that they are the same company, much to the agitation of many a customer.

Just so you all know I do not want to shove a Borders Rewards Card down your throat as much as you do not want one but Borders made me do it. Though if you don't want to be bugged about it anymore, there is a simple remedy; just get one, put a fake email on it and hand it to us each time, I swear I will leave you alone. That and I won't get bugged about lagging numbers from my boss every week. You would think we were selling Borders Rewards cards and not books.

Honestly does it benefit a company enough to continually shove something they don't want in their face? If someone does not want a free card that sends you coupons in your email and nothing else the first 2 times you ask (the second time just in case they heard you wrong the first time) then I think it is reasonable to believe that they will never want one and you should not ask. Also does it make sense in this world of corporate speak and rewards cards to even go for a program like that any more? Why not just become the company that doesn't bother you and is only there to assist and find the book that screams "You!" Then again I have never before worked in retail so I couldn't tell you what works but I just find something wrong about pushing things on people who do not want them.