Mixed Rulings for The Underling

After a fervent, and at times almost violent, debate The Court of the Underling has ruled that The Underling is not required to continue reading Lord of The Flies because of the two previous times in his life that he has read said book, as well as his unyielding support for its character. Immediately after the ruling The Underling could be spotted removing the bookmark from the book in question and is expected to place it back on the shelf sometime later in the day.

This move came on the heels of a long planned trip by book comptroller Katy who could not be reached for comment. Many analysts believe that The Underling has been waiting for this trip to push the issue in order to limit any damage he may receive in the press.

In other news The Court of the Underling ruled that John Lennon: The Life by law must be finished by The Underling sometime in the future. A spokesman for The Underling who will remain anonymous because he is not authorized to speak on such matters said "The Underling is interpreting this as a requirement before death and will continue to actively not finish this book for the time being."

Story by the AP